Denial
by Ninja Giraffe
Summary: 'I'm straight. Yup. ...right...? Yes. There shouldn't even be a question. But apparently there was.' Karofsky's conflicting thoughts during the Superbowl episode. Rated T for language.


**A/N: **So this is just a little one-shot of Karofsky arguing with himself, and all the thoughts I think might be running through his head. It does get a little AU at the end, but it mostly takes place during the Superbowl episode. Let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee.

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'That's funny Karofsky, how you're always calling everybody gay all the time, but you never seem to have a girlfriend.' The words echoed in my head. Gay. I shuddered at the thought. And was Hudson accusing me of being gay? How dare he. I was straight. I knew I was. I'm not a fag. See, now Hummel, that's a fag for you. I'm straight. Yup. ...right...? Yes. There shouldn't even be a question. But apparently there was. So I needed a girlfriend. Shit.

Now they're making us sing and dance. They're trying to turn us gay. Only fairies sing and dance. Fucking faggots. Dave Karofsky does not sing and dance. Nope.

Fuck. Dave Karofsky sings and dances. No. I can't. But I have to. If I want to stay on the football team. And I need to stay on the football team. So now I sing and dance. But...wait...something could come out of this. I still need a girlfriend. That slut Santana is actually single at the moment. But I can't date her. She's in glee club. Fuck glee club. Why does it always screw with my life?

So I chickened out. So what. The rest of my football team can go be gay. I'm not, I repeat not, dancing in the halftime show of my own football game. That's just not how things work.

Apparently that's how things work. It wasn't going to be. No. I was going to be strong. The strong guy of the football team. But no. As I had stood and watched my teammates sing, I realized people seemed to be enjoying it. Maybe I should go out there? I had thought, keep up my image? I looked around more. Wait-was that Hummel? What the hell was he doing here? And he was with his other little gay friend, the one that had thought it would be a good idea to tell me that it was ok to be gay. Please. Everyone knows it's not. It's wrong. It's disgusting. It's just not normal. But there they were, dancing along with the music together, laughing, smiling...damn them. I was going to show them. I was better then them. I wasn't gay. But I was still gonna sing, prove to everyone I'm still the leader. I ran onto the field, and showed those faggots what it meant to be straight.

Everyone was happy to see me on that field. Good. Now my image is even better. Maybe I don't need a girlfriend after all. Not right now at least. I'll have a girlfriend later, when I want. Because I like girls. Because I'm straight. And straight guys like girls.

What is wrong with Hudson? He thinks just because I sang once, just so I could be on the football team and keep up my image, that I'm gonna join glee club? Hell no. And he wants me to apologize to Hummel? No way in fuckin' hell was I gonna apologize to that lady face. No. He deserved everything I did to him. He's a faggot, I was just showing him his place. ...but I did kiss him... NO. No I didn't. He forced me to kiss him. He was practically begging for it, getting all up in my face like that. No that's the only reason it happened. I'm not gay. I'm gonna get myself a girlfriend.

I can't do it. I can't get a girlfriend. But not because I'm gay. No, that's not the reason. Yes that's the reason. Even though I'm not gay. But every time I try to ask a girl out, I see Hummel. How fucked up is that? I can't get that fag out of my head. No. He deserved everything, and I mean everything I did to him. Except the kiss. He didn't deserve that. I kiss girls. Maybe that's why I kissed Hummel. He looks like a girl, he acts like a girl, that's why I kissed him. I thought he was a girl. That's the only logical explanation. Because I can't stop thinking about him. But I like girls. I'm gonna get Santana. She the easiest girl there is. And she's single. Hell, I could probably get her if she wasn't single, it'll be even easier cause she is.

So I got Santana. I'm dating a girl. Suck that Hudson. But...I don't like Santana. She's annoying. She's a bitch. But she's a girl. A real girl. And she's mine.

Ok. There really is something wrong with me. So I was making out with Santana. I was making out with a girl, like all straight guys do. But I wasn't enjoying it. Which is bad. I enjoyed kissing Hummel. No I didn't. Yes. No. ...maybe just a little... But one things for sure, I was not enjoying Santana. I was thinking about Hummel. While I was making out with Santana. Fuck.

I ended it with Santana. She didn't care. Hudson asked about it and I told him it wasn't working, but it just wasn't his business anyway. And he let it go. I think I proved to him that I'm straight. But I think I proved to myself that I'm not. Even though I'm not going to admit it to myself. At least Hummel doesn't go to this school anymore. He can't screw with my head anymore. So as far as the school cares I'm as straight as can be. But I don't think I will ever stop being jealous of fucking perfect Hummel. Who thought it was perfectly ok to just strut down the hallway, practically announcing 'hey I'm gay and I'm better than all of you'. I couldn't stand his fucking pride. So I tried to take it from him. But I think he took mine instead.


End file.
